Documenting Email Correspondence in My Surname Database

I get lots of genealogy email. The deal I strike with those who write asking for my help with genealogy research is that I am allowed to post their queries and my responses online in my surname research database. If they are concerned about privacy, I edit out their email addresses or their names, whatever. And I edit out particularly sensitive or nonpertinent comments (I hate Aunt Mildred because she always loved my brother best) or exchanges (I've been staying up late doing genealogy lately and that really annoys my dog).

Recently, a woman wrote but added the caveat that I could use the information but not quote her email in any way. This would have put me in the odd position of doing particular research without noting what prompted me to do so. I was unwilling to accept her preconditions and I received a hostile response from the writer. She thought me ungrateful and petty and assured me she'd no longer waste my time with her valuable insights.

I occasionally strike a nerve with correspondents. I still haven't figured out whether some of them just rub me the wrong way, or maybe my responses are subject to my mood or the phase of the moon. I suspect the phase of the moon has something to do with what motivates some persons to write.

Letters have always been difficult to keep private. I have a nearly fifty year old letter between siblings that provides some quite personal insights into the upcoming breakup of a marriage. The letter sternly specifies that the recipient shall destroy the letter immediately after reading it. A cautionary tale, to be sure.

A genealogist must respect others' privacy in a wide array of scenarios -- graveyards, family picnics, family feuds, and sensitive correspondence -- but the need for documenting and archiving the past must be given due consideration as well. As I understand it, the Australians destroy their old census records rather than make them available for researchers. I shudder to think about it.